Never argue before kids. There’s no debate that is too urgent to be settled just by the two of you. Children are part of your family but they are not part of your marriage. Never bad-mouth your partner. Gossiping your partner just leaves others with news for analysis. Never wash your dirty linen in public. Don’t even solve your issues with third-parties. That’s why we have professional counsellors.
Your children too are third-parties to your marriage. Don’t try to look better than your partner before your children. There are no elections at home. No one is disputing your position. Present a united front before kids. Let them know that mum’s position is dad’s position always. Children can be shrewd. If you’re divided, they’ll arm-twist you till you put your house in order.
Sibling rivalry in adulthood reflects failed parenting. When parents compare kids’ abilities or performance, it introduces unnecessary sibling competition for life. Some of you cannot have a healthy discussion with your brother or sister. The smallest talk degenerates into an argument. This hostility can be traced to your early childhood. Parents who had favorites set up their children to permanent discord.
Unless they are grossly irresponsible, unpredictable or have lost their mind, never block your eX from seeing their children. Keep your battles between the two of you. If you have separated, agree legally how both of you will share parental responsibilities. Don’t be casual with someone that you don’t live together. Values don’t stay put. Nobody is born mad. Madness grows with problems.
If you tell your daughter how terrible her dad is, you’re setting her up to hate men for life. She looks up-to her dad to know what to expect from her husband and men in general. If you tell your son how stupid his mother is, he’ll turn against you as he grows older. The umbilical cord between sons and mothers hardly gets broken. The best gift you can give your son is to love his mother.
DR. K. N. JACOB